i was walking with susan towards her cabin to grab some laundry of hers because tomorrow she flies straight to crooked creek for young life camp until saturday.
russell (6’9, shaved bald, big+tall man) starts hollering my name. he’s always in gym shorts with his mountain smith bag over his shoulder.
“emma, copy, emma.”
i pause in my tracks and my thoughts for half a second.
i’m off today. no, russell, i don’t have my radio. reality check here: guest services is always on. you aren’t “on” or “off” in loving jesus. lay down your life to serve him well in this moment. you don’t have anywhere to be. you are being selfish. listen to him and take a breath.
i greet russell and my sinful, selfish mind thinks.. what does he want ME to do for HIM?
he starts telling me about yesterday morning in chalk talk.. the assign team was talking about god sightings and i was one of the main ones they talked about. how i always serve with joy, how nothing anyone asks me seems impossible + that i’m overly willing to serve them, how i have kindness that radiates from me, how it is evident how i love christ and that i take my faith seriously, that my attitude is always so upbeat. i don’t always serve as good as i could. how are my actions perceived differently than they feel to me? how did i almost miss this moment? thank you jesus for stopping me.
the holy spirit is at work. christ gets all the glory. sometimes when i am upbeat, i am frustrated that someone hasn’t radioed me sooner about something that needs to get done. so i walk to do what i need to with a prissy attitude, but then i breathe it out and breathe in christ. i get over it before anyone knows i was frustrated.
this is more for me to remember when i feel inadequate at my job. not to brag about how great i am, because most days i walk away thinking.. i could have done better. i could have not snapped. i could have loved and invested more. i need to give myself grace and receive the grace that christ offers me everyday. listening to john wood’s sermon on “the grace in which we stand” recentered me today.i seek to remember that it’s more about the godliness of my character than it is about the success of my day. i hope that this points you towards christ since sometimes jesus is seen in you in a much bigger way than even you can comprehend yourself.